Do you like captivating stories? Memorable characters? A sense that all the cast and crew actually gave a damn about the film they were working on? If you answered 'yes' to all three, then stay, far, far away from Destroy all Planets. Let me reiterate: FAR, FAR AWAY.
A spaceship, looking not unlike a clump of bumblebee thoraxes glued together to form a circle, is looking for a suitable planet to colonize. Seeing Earth, the aliens (note, you never actually see any aliens at this point: just close-ups of a machine that you know has to be scientific because it spins and has glowing lights!) while an obnoxious monotone plays in the background) prepare to land, only to attacked by the Friend to all Children, Gamera. The ship is badly damaged, and vows vengeance while beating a hasty retreat.
Meanwhile, two bratty Scouts have decided to screw around with an experimental submarine, following an exchange of dialogue that went something like this:
SCIENTIST: Gee kids, this submarine went kinda screwy and came close to killing me. My code of ethics tells me that it may not be a good idea to let two minors pilot this here vehicle.
BRATTY KID #1: Aw, c'mon mister! We'll be awfully careful!
BRATTY KID'S SISTER: Yeah, these kids are real good with electronics. Why, my brother once fixed a watch!
SCIENTIST: Ho ho ho! Well, that settles it. Here kids, go out and try not to die in the cold, dark embrace of the ocean! Ho ho ho!
Sigh. Anyways, the two kids meet up with Gamera, and race around with him. Kaiju fans around the world collectively slap their foreheads. Suddenly!! The aliens reinforcements have come to Earth, and trap Gamera and the intrepid explorers under an energy dome. See, the aliens want to bend Gamera to their will and force him to destroy the planet. Not ALL PLANETS, just the one planet. Will the kids find a way to escape the diabolic dome? Will Gamera rise up and defeat the star creatures? Will you care?
I have to admit, I've never been a fan of the Showa Gamera films. Aside from the surprisingly enjoyable first two entries, the others have been afflicted with dreary plots, horrible monster designs, and risible special effects. Sadly, this one is no exception. Made in the late 60's in an attempt to cash in on the craze generated by the Godzilla series, the Gamera franchise attempted to appeal to the younger audiences by having more explicit monster violence, as well as main characters that were often children. Gamera never really came into his own until the early 1990's, with Shusuke Kaneko's masterfully dark trilogy that had the big guy facing off against man-eating monsters, an unthinkably huge alien juggernaut, and even a demon straight from the pages of H.P. Lovecraft. But, I digress...
There's not really anything I can say about the acting, as the version I watched was dubbed. Even the sole American actor looks dubbed. Simply put, its a terrible dub, and the "actors" obviously couldn't care any less about what they were doing. Can't say that I blame them.
One of the biggest disappointments is the way in which the alien invasion plot is handled. Ishiro Honda, who directed many of Toho's Godzilla and other sci-fi films, was clearly an optimist. He believed in the inherent goodness of humanity, and this spirit of cooperation is evident in many of his films as people from all around the world put aside their differences to fight an evil that threatens to destroy them. The reason I bring this up is because Honda's sci-fi operas were always fast-paced, sweeping epics that took place on a global scale. Destroy all Planets makes the ballsy decision of taking what could have been an enjoyable alien flick and making it so narrow in scope as to be nearly inconsequential: there are constant mentions of the Earth being in great danger, but when you have a grand total of two main characters who are constantly the focus of the action, there's little suspense to be had. Gamera hardly has any screen time. Instead of being called Destroy all Planets, it should have been Thick-headed kids wander around in a spaceship that makes them sandwiches. Yes, the alien ship makes them sandwiches.
Well, even though the execution is deadly dull, at least the concept of Gamera being used as an agent of widespread destruction should guarantee some good times, right? WRONG. The trouble begins when the aliens imprison Gamera and scan his mind in order to determine his powers and weaknesses. Cue the stock-footage! Ever see Gamera vs. Gaos or Gamera vs. Barugon? No? Well, don't worry, because now you can relive the monster action from both films in their entirety! Nearly 2o minutes of continuous recycled footage. Simply unbelievable. Whats worse, when Gamera is finally turned loose upon the world, yet MORE stock-footage is hauled out from Barugon and even the original film, which was in black and white. The word 'shameless' doesn't even begin to describe what is going on here.
The special effects are, as usual, barely adequate. From Gamera lifting a force-field as if were a curtain(!) to the clumsily animated scene where the aliens merge to form the gigantic Viras, there is really nothing worth going into great detail over. Mainly because there's around 10 minutes of original special effects work to be found here. A note on Viras: while being a slightly interesting looking monster, he feels more like an after-thought than anything else. Why? For starters, he appears in the last 10 minutes(!!) in a 90 minute film, and there is absoluely no build up to his appearance. Why do the aliens suddenly have the ability to form together to make a giant hell beast? Its as if the screenwriter suddenly remembered that he was making a monster movie, and just threw in whatever came to mind.
The battle itself is slightly enjoyable, with Viras largely dominating the brawl. Still, the fight takes place on a deserted beach (at this time, monster fights in the countryside or other deserted locales were becoming the norm for budget-conscious filmmakers, and the presence of wire work and empty suits make the clash less impressive. Also, remember cringing when Godzilla slid on his tail to kick Megalon? Well, Gamera rides Viras like a jet-ski. I'll just let you draw your own conclusions. Gamera never really comes off well either, as it seems that he's incapable of fighting intelligently without annoying children calling out moves, not unlike Pokemon (as the fight begins, Gamera just stands there with his thumb up his butt while Viras gets in several free hits). How do you respect a monster that seems virtually brain-dead and is incapable of holding his own in a fight without being egged on by deranged youngsters?
Unless you like the old Gamera films, there's really nothing I can recommend about this one. For the hardcore and adventurous only.
Gojira, Mothra, and Rodan are rightfully considered some of Toho's best films. All of them, even though they wildly differ in terms of tone and subject matter, are exceptionally well made, hugely entertaining, and introduced to the world some of the most iconic giant monsters ever created. Then came Dogora, and its an absolute shame that this guy isn't mentioned in the same breath as the other three. Why is that? The title kaiju, a monstrously huge, beautifully animated entity that descends from the heavens to satisfy its desire for carbon based products (coal, diamonds, etc) ranks up as one of the most daring and innovative monsters that special effects master Eiji Tsuburaya ever dreamed up. The story itself, with equally hapless crooks and cops caught up in a "who-can-be-more-of-a-knucklehead" competition, while at the same time trying to understand and defeat Dogora, moves briskly and is entertaining. So, whats the problem? Well, its really quite simple. Despite having its name be first in the opening credits, Dogora never really feels like the star of the movie. In fact, greater emphasis is placed on the human story, while the tentacled beast shows up at intermittently to wreak havoc.
We learn at the very beginning that just outside Earth's atmosphere, an enormous, mutated cell resides. One that destroys pesky satellites when they get too close. Meanwhile, a group of diamond thieves are foiled at their latest planned heist when a tiny, blob-like creature melts through the safe and devours the contents within. Inspector Komai trails the thieves and ends up on the receiving end of a major ass-kicking by a Mr. Mark Jackson: a smooth talking, judo-flipping, charismatic American who speaks fluent Japanese. Mark Jackson, the most American sounding name the screenwriter, Shinichi Sekizawa (writer of many of the early Godzilla entries) could think of, I'm sure... Soon, a startling number of diamond thefts pop up all over the world: the police think the diamond thieves, known as the International Diamond Robbery Ring, are behind the crimes. However, the gangsters are equally dumbfounded.
Mark Jackson reveals himself to be a wily insurance investigator ("Diamond G-Man"), and admits that he's been following the individual(s) behind the latest series of world-wide thefts. Then, things get stranger. Vast amounts of coal is sucked upwards by an unseen force in the clouds. Trucks carrying diamonds are attacked at night. Komai begins to consider the possibility of the agent responsible for the attacks being something inhuman (only in Japanese monster movies will you have police calmly discussing the possibilities of monsters being prime suspects). The diamond thief is identified as a gigantic cellular organism that was mutated by pockets of radiation in Earth's atmosphere. Dubbed "Dogora", the creature requires carbon to live, and the possibility of it moving on to carbon-based lifeforms (i.e. people), the people of Earth desperately plan a counter-offensive. Soon, the monster descends upon the city of Kyushu, and the battle for survival begins...
This is not a movie that one should use to initiate people into the kaiju sub-genre. Indeed, anyone going in expecting large-scale destruction of model buildings and constant monster action will quickly become fidgety and bored. A movie that announces itself as being a combination of crime thriller and giant monster drama is most intriguing, and this movie could have been, wait, should have been one of Toho's classics.
Unfortunately, and this is the film's largest weakness, is there is never a truly successful merging of the two sub-genres. The monster set-pieces are extremely well-handled and nice to look at. The cops-and-robbers storyline, though entertaining in its own right, takes up far too much of the film's running time. Furthermore, as the end of the movie approaches, Dogora's story and the crime story are tied together with the thinnest of plot points (without giving too much away, the gangster plot is resolved by a simple "wrong place, wrong time" bit of happenstance), and it becomes increasingly clear that this movie simply doesn't need to have such wildly differing story lines. The filmmakers could have easily made a feature-length movie that was centered solely on Dogora, and fleshed out the creature's characteristics and personality a bit more.
Because the title monster has lack of screen time, it isn't as well-defined as it should have been. As I see it, there is only the one monster, even though posters and publicity are depict multiple giant creatures terrorizing the populace. If that's the case, whats the deal with the baseball sized blobs that carry out some of the thefts? Are they separate creatures, or are they part of the main monster, and simply detach to carry out various tasks. The very ending of the film throws in further confusion as to the nature of the beast with a single, throw away line, and one gets the impression that Sekizawa was more interested in the various human shenanigans than creating a well-fleshed out monster. However, the means with which they dispatch Dogora is certainly original, and depending on your point of view, is either extremely half-assed or very well thought out.
I don't mean to give off the impression that I don't like this film: in fact, I quite enjoy it. The leads are engaging, and Robert Dunham (last seen as the epically hairy chested Seatopian leader in Godzilla vs. Megalon) is clearly having fun with the character of Mark Jackson, and constantly forces the viewer to question the true extent of his motives, as he spends a good deal seemingly flip-flopping between the sides of law enforcement and criminals. Also, the struggle between the diamond thieves and the police is interesting in and of itself, and does generate a few laughs. Apparently, the movie is actually considered a spoof of yakuza movies, and has even been labeled a satire. Huh? Maybe I'm missing something by not being Japanese; there are some amusing moments, but its more of a broad humor and nothing I would really peg as sharp satire.
On to what you're most interested in: the monster action. The scenes of the creature levitating and absorbing heaps of coal are fairly well done, even though the scenes of people and objects like buildings and trucks being levitated and thrown are very obviously done via wires, they accomplish what they set out to do: entertain. More impressive are the wonderful use of colors during the attack scenes, with the clouds taking on all sorts of unearthly hues. There is an awkward transition where Dogora, and part of the city, becomes a very obvious piece of straight animation, but this is forgivable as its immediately followed by the spectacular destruction of a major landmark. The set-piece attack on Kyushu, as Dogora is seen in its entirety for the first time, and the entire sky turns different shades of green and red, is easily one of the most beautiful moments I've ever seen in a kaiju film. If Dario Argento were ever to do a monster movie, this is what it would have looked like. As fun to watch as these sequences are, they are made frustrating simply because they don't happen too often, and one immediately wants more as soon as they end.
Dogora itself is fairly simplistic in design, resembling a gigantic jellyfish. However, this simplicity doesn't hurt it in the least. It is simple and sleek, yet at the same time completely unknowable. Even though Toho introduced more elaborate alien creatures, such as King Ghidorah, Dogora more successfully comes across as something truly alien. It is intimidating through sheer size alone, as it easily dwarfs every other Toho creation. Even though I earlier said that it suffers from lack of definition, this vagueness, in a sense, also helps it. We never truly know if it is just a mindless behemoth, wanting to feed and nothing else, or if there is perhaps a cruel intelligence: it systematically dismantles a suspension bridge, almost in mockery of the feeble artillery assault against it.
This is not a movie for the kaiju initiate, as the eclectic blending of gangsters and monsters is definitely not for everyone. Also, not for those who watch these movies solely for the monsters, and fast-forward through the talkie bits. But, for those seeking something a little different, definitely check this out. Even if you don't care for the human portion, the monster segments are undeniably gripping. Just give it a chance; who knows, you may end up loving it.
The year is 2025. Mankind has begun to turn its gaze towards the stars due to Earth's gradually depleting resources. The answer? Terra-forming. Mars is chosen for future colonization, likely because its the closest planet that wouldn't immediately kill any prospective colonists extreme shifts of temperature or greenhouse gas retaining atmospheres. Or maybe people just like Mars...
On a mineral gathering expedition, the spaceship "Izanami" unearths a strange, cocoon like object under the red sands. Being ignorant Earthlings who clearly have never, ever seen at least ONE science-fiction/horror film in their life, they bring the object back to Tokyo for further study. Slap your forehead and groan in exasperation whenever you feel like.
Meanwhile, a government representative, Seiji Yoshizawa is having a meeting in the smoke filled den of Professor Ryuichi Narasaki.
Yoshizawa is imploring Narasaki to allow the army to use his experimental machine, the Miroku, to be used as a weapon of war; the good doctor abandoned the project after Miroku malfunctioned 10 years ago and killed his young daughter, leaving him with a bionic eye as a keepsake. Narasaki all but kicks the young man out, and returns to be alone with his cigarettes and bitter memories.
At the same time, in the space-faring Ship of Fools, the mysterious object causes the vessel to overheat and explode, sending the object hurtling towards Tokyo. It quickly reveals itself to be a gigantic, many-limbed space monster called Negadon (note, the creature is never named by any of the human characters. Besides, why would they?) and immediately goes on a rampage, as all good kaiju do. Making short work of the military, Narasaki realizes that only he can stop the carnage. He activates Miroku, and the battle is on...
Before approaching this movie, there is one thing that you should know: it isn't a feature film. It is a short, and runs approximately 25 minutes. Given the film's brevity, there isn't much time for extended character development or plot-lines. The monster is established, the scientist is given back story, the robot and the monster battle, and its over. That being said, director Jun Awazu works wonders with the short running time, exquisitely crafting a love-letter to the kaiju films of the 1960's, with homages that never come off as heavy-handed, as well as a great protagonist and title monster. Oh, and its entirely computer-generated.
First off, the film looks absolutely beautiful. Though taking place in the not too distant future, Tokyo looks as if never left the 1960's, with the general look of the city as well as the military weaponry called out to combat Negadon. True to classic Toho space operas such as Battle in Space, outer-space is presented as being a dark, rich blue as opposed to the more realistic black. Interestingly, some of the vehicles, such as the Izanami, are shot as if they actually were miniatures (at least, that's how it looked to me), and only adds to the charm Negadon has to offer. Finally, the character models, especially Dr. Narasaki, look, in a word, fantastic. Come the battle with Negadon, and sweat creeps down his brow as the cockpit is shaken by Negadon's energy attacks, it is all too easy to forget that its a computer image, and not a real person. The film also sports a faint layer of grain and scratches on the frame, adding to the illusion that it is a film that comes from the time period that it homages.
If the film were to have more than one central character, the film would be an absolute mess. Luckily, Awazu avoids a problem that has tanked 2 hour films, and its all too easy imagine what the result could have been for a 25 minute short feature. If Dr. Serizawa from Gojira had avoided committing suicide after activating the Oxygen Destroyer, only to enter old age and lapse into a crippling depression, it would likely have looked something like Narasaki. Both are men who created a weapon capable of changing the course of human history, and both are tormented by the potential effects such a weapon could have if deployed. Narasaki has the added baggage of having had his creation accidentally kill his daughter, the person dearest to him. His having to rely on the same robot for the final showdown more interesting than the standard kaiju-wrasslin' fest we're used to. The relation to Serizawa is the most direct tie-in to kaiju movies of old, and though it definitely doesn't reach the nightmarish darkness seen in Gojira, its still a downbeat film in its own right. This isn't a film that celebrates the human spirit in the face of adversity; it is morose until the very end, even though Narasaki's ultimate fate brings a genuinely touching denouement to the proceedings.
On to what you're really interested about, the monsters; and rest assured, both Negadon and Miroku are very welcome additions to the kaiju family. With Negadon, Awazu perfectly captures the essence of something that is co completely alien, and unknowable, without becoming too outlandish and excessive (looks long and hard at Gigan). Best described as the bastard child of King Ghidorah and Dogora (the monster that robbed banks and made people cry in the 1964 film of the same name), with the lightning-spewing abilities of the former and a vaguely similar body shape of the latter, Negadon stands as one of the most original kaiju to come down the pike in a long, long time. While Miroku retains a more standard, quasi-humanoid shape, its sleek, silvery look and simple, yet effective weaponry (loving that giant drill) is often awe-inspiring. The battle between the two giants is fairly short, but genuinely exciting, and puts most of the similarly short clashes in Godzilla: Final Wars to shame.
This is a movie that would probably hold little to no interest in initiates or dismissers of the kaiju sub-genre, but to those who grew up watching Godzilla and friends rampage across the silver screen, there is absolutely no reason not to experience this minor classic.
Do you like captivating stories? Memorable characters? A sense that all the cast and crew actually gave a damn about the film they were working on? If you answered 'yes' to all three, then stay, far, far away from Destroy all Planets. Let me reiterate: FAR, FAR AWAY.
