You hear that? That was the sound of little baby Jesus succumbing to crib death. Yes, that was a little bit harsh, but dammit, some things just have to be said. The author Hannah Arendt once spoke of the 'banality of evil' and while I'd normally agree, Lil' Markie is about as far on the opposite end of the spectrum as banality as it gets. I'm sure no-one would disagree with me when I say sometimes evil is instead a large man who attempts pull off a squeaky voice meant to be cute and endearing; but instead comes off as an escaped lunatic who has just inhaled helium and intends to ram a drill bit through your forehead. All the while singing about the HEALING POWERS OF CHRIST ALMIGHTY! If this is truly the best spokesperson God can afford, I sincerely recommend He get a new public-relations agent.
There are two nagging questions on my mind: Who exactly goes to see this display of human nature at its most upsetting? I don't know about you, but I have a real hard time imagining a marquee saying in big bold letters "NOW! MARK FOX AND HIS HELLISH SPLIT PERSONALITY LIL' MARKIE IN PERSON!" and this line stretching for blocks and blocks from the entrance. Personally, the only people I can imagine here would be the Hewitt clan. Not because they're die-hard fans of Christian-alternative folk, but because Fox definitely has more than enough pounds to spare, and I do hear that chili is often popular this time of year, if you catch my drift...
Also, why exactly does every priest feel the overwhelming urge to sing AND preach their gospel at the same time? I have nothing against priests, or religion in general, but hearing this guy sing only strengthens the notion that priesthood and folksy singing should be kept apart with a 12-foot pole. Check that. A restraining order is the only thing strong enough to stop this guy from subjecting more innocent people to his 'cheer'. You want to be a priest, be a priest. You wanna be a singer, take up a career in just that. Please, don't merge the two. That's like a world class chef deciding he wants to be a BMX racer, and I'm sure you can all imagine how sadly that would turn out...
I know this isn't technically Christmas related, but I stumbled upon this little gem close enough to the season, so I will classify it as holiday related. Let me ask you this gentle reader. Does this make you think of Christmas? Does this make you think of mistletoe (if you do see mistletoe, and the first thing you think of is Mark Fox, you need help. If you see him standing under mistletoe, that is a whole different problem altogether. RUN). Does this conjure images of presents, and the tree, and sleigh rides? Again, I know this isn't technically a Christmas video, but humor me.
I'll tell you what it inspires in me. It makes me feel that crawling into a hole, eating only Twinkies, and screaming myself to death sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. Happy holidays Mark Fox, you prick. A side note to Lil' Markie: The Power of Christ Compels You!
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